Was

supposed to do this five days ago. Which ended up today. So that's another year. Another number added. Rejected all literally. No face. No see. Nothing. Went to bed. Oh not to mentioned. They postponed even. A day after. To try again. Which I rejected yet again. Being hard to myself. Being mean to everyone and myself included. Not sure why. Just be it. Sending the signals. Being cheated once. Never again. And that reminds me of Never Again Kelly Clarkson. Ha! I know deep down that's not the case anyhow anyway. Be it regret for the rest of it. Be with it. Like whatever that is. I'm just taking it all risk out. Please not to 'threaten' me with oh, you will regret this for the rest of your life. Yes agreed. I take it as it is. So be it. By then I believe it will happen. Yes I do. So then what's then? Really. Do not really thinks that's the way one or any way even, to consult help assist whatever adjective you want to use, for any mentally ill person like meself. Oh Ha! Let's distract. Been playing with the roller skate for I think at least five or six times in a row now. Hoping its not a three minutes heat degree kinda thing. Well if it does. Again, so be it. It cost perhaps the similar with those branded shoes, without rollers. And this with rollers. So yea. There it goes. My logic of cost and worthiness comparison? Hu! And oh. Have I not mentioned it. It was the weekend before last. Two backwards weekends. Randomly met that Uncle Noel as he introduced himself as. He approached me. Apparently a very frequent/vivid skater there in the park. Well. Was told will be there each Sunday morning. But did not see him even the shadow yesterday. Ha! Not sure how why what? Ended up much philosophical in depthness conversation slash topics and et cetara, including even politically related or whatever that is. Let out a little. Was rather sceptical, much sceptical; since its within the close physical proximity. Ah well. Hoping could see him this coming weekend. Hoping him to further encourage my skating journey. Keeping it out of the three minutes range. Keeping meself to last at least to the point of confidence in long distance skate. Well at least some achievement before I gave up. And wasted the investment. Huha! and Oh. Shall I now then continue with Python. Oh dear snake.