Today

 felt like wanted to type out loud. For some reason the universed made me so. So here I am. I hope this post would be able to finish to some extent; and post-able (who knew it went half way and left drafted ha!) so yaaar. Where should I start.

I don't think I have been talking to much in real life person. Like zero nada. Even the virtual social media would be limited dot com dot my. What am i doin' doink doink? I suppose this is why I have the sudden urget to speak to myself. Speak to this beloved Blogger? Communicate with technology, robot, word processer  or whatever have you name it term it!

As per the usual, today hand wash clothes yada. but not much to cleaning the room. A little late into the wakey wakey. Despite the fact that gotten myself registered for the A-G-M of the M-I-A. So yea basically, attended the virtually held AGM which started at ten in the morning. At first I was wondering why is there no specific or an indicative end time. Who knew. I left even before they finished. It was two and a half hours in mind you! I was just curious. Never been one AGM before. Just as any virtual event. It is tiring. The technology is just that blah. At times it is obvious that it is their glitched; at times I have no idea perhaps it was my internet connection issue? Not gonna talk much about that. But what these brings me to this point. As in.

I felt there is this need of me to achieve something. I am questioning myself Why Why am I having such a feeling. There is this obvious feeling of comparing with others. Yada yada I should not compare bla blah but can't be avoided. The brain isn't as easily controlled. At least for me, my kind of brain. Life is all about comparing anyway, to a certain extent; to the least ha! So there is this nomination thingy. Then there is this file attached whereby I downloaded and look see the qualifications or what not of the candidates and stuff like that. My feeling was. I could have been there? Could I? Or if I were; am I not good enough to be there? Seeing a handful or manies in fact, of past friends past colleagues here there been there corporate stuff here there. Most glamorously out of the country kicking and stuff. but well of couse I only see the good side. Not sure how the heck probably they've suffered heck loads or had mental issues even who knews Haha! but that besides the point.

So then take me to another thoughts. Why I should or why should I be the responsbile for you, you and you? I'm neither your life partner nor anyone with much close intimate past since age zero. Only and for the mere fact of scientific blood relation only. And that is it. We are all selfish. Even the law says so. If one is legally married to anohter partner; the distribution law recognises the most important, and firstly the partner. Secondly the issues, thirdly the immediate parents. Then only the related siblings. Geddit? Yes I get that. Hence I say so! My philosophy is; at least to this point in time, not everyhing he say is right or correct or appropriate to me you or whoever. The world is a whole wide world. So long as I'm not committing any obvious legal crime; that's fine. Period. And; parent being parent. Ok I know I have never been one. I can't speak of them; or feel for them in their shoe or what not. But I am pretty sure many parents out there would have absolutely agree this. Parents highest or biggest pround would be as when their own kids can be independent on their own feet, without the need to rely on their parents in any way, financially, mentally or whatever that is. For some reason my case isn't. Feel as in he wants to drag the whole members into the boat. To be dependent on him? Like heck hello my dear! I mean in the end of the day. Human being human. Me being me. Grass is always greener on the other side. I should alwasy count my blessing right. Be appreciative of what I have. Stop asking or thinking of what I don't have? But wait waaahhttt? What about improvement? Or the rural stagnant life wait to die is a contented one? Then the point of being in the know. Education, knowledge; the more you know the... beeetttterr? You sure mate? Right I know. the balance. The grey line. How so where to draw? Show me?!

but yet. Not that I've never done it. But it was repeated once before. Over that side. It ain't a very pleasant feeling either. So I really question myself either. Same song sing greener grass on the other side yay! I guess it all comes to a circle. Oh wait. That's why earth is round Ha! and by the way I learned a new term Fibonacci Sequence or retracement last night! attended the Bursa Marketplace webinar. ok so yarrr Eh Eh there's nothing else I can say ey eh eh eyyyhh. It's all about the grass. Let's just move on beyong and? oh well...